I tried looking at various objects.

I think the purple color might be a reference to a new Troll blood type? Maybe a caste higher than fuschia?

#HiveswapTheory

I’m guessing I might need the Eight Extra Months of “Bug Fixing” skill to progress from this point, but I can’t find it.

Help?

Seriously. Windows 10. Anybody know how to get past this?

Edit: Silly me! Xefros’s Reinstall the Game to Your C Drive technique lit the room up. I’m really kicking myself for not having solved the game’s first puzzle sooner!

Something’s fishy about how Jane almost died on the moon. Let’s see if we can’t get to the bottom of this mystery!

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Hey Karkat! Guess what!

It turns out Echidna was wrong! In the 5000 years you’ve been gone, the trolls created a peaceful society without you guiding them!

Oh Karkat… fuck you. Fuck you for thinking you could ever make a difference.

Urgh, I may as well tackle one of the “the ending is actually deep” theories, and, since this is the one that crossed my dashboard, it may as well be this one.

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bladekindeyewear:

It’s 1 AM, I’m trying to go to sleep. As usual, my thoughts drift to Homestuck, whether I want them to or not. Except this time I think to myself… “Hey, it’s been a while. I’ve had time to heal. It already hurts a whole lot less. Why not try to think about Homestuck intentionally, accept the ending, and start to finally process things?”

And so I think about it. And it seems alright! …For about three minutes.

Then my thoughts drift to the Denizens. To how we saw so little of them. To how one being implied to be a “witch” and “not a snake” was all we’ll ever know about her besides a shitty silhouette. To the paltry few mostly-offscreen Choices that were made. To how Andrew seemed so blithely underconfident that he could do justice to their faces that the closest thing we ever saw to a Denizen’s actual face was that SHITTY Demon Mobster Kingpin ripoff Yaldabaoth sketchface in Collide.

And then – THEN – I realize that not only did we never see Hephaestus, but his entire Choice, his entire epic repairing-one-thing SCHTICK, was absolutely and UTTERLY irrelevant to the plot in every single way. No payoff. He just fixed a shitty metaphor-sword. There’s no way to resolve that in the epilogue. It’s just permanently a thing that never mattered, forever.

And my blood just BOILS.

I understand the Unstuck and Unbound theory/theories. I understand that the POINT could have been that this really never meant anything all along, that these were all distractions. That Caliborn saying his veins swum with red herrings might have been a hint that all the overwrought foreshadowing in Homestuck would need to be completely sidestepped and unfulfilled if Lord English’s plans were ever to be glitched-out-of. If the kids were ever to be happy and free. I GET that.

But I can’t fully buy the Unstuck and Unbound theory, no matter how much I want to. I can’t buy 100% into it without serious confirmation. (Especially not with so many theories busted to hell by the end already.) And whichever parts of me DON’T buy into Unstuck and Unbound, whichever parts doubt the ONE POSSIBLE JUSTIFICATION for Andrew throwing the whole fucking plot out the window and jump-cutting to an easy happy ending… those parts can’t help but be angry. Really, really angry.

Angry that it seems like Andrew was having a bad year or two and just… decided to take a guillotine to his story and cut it short undone.

It’s as if you made a good friend, a really REALLY good wonderful friend, and you spent years together, and you knew they were eventually going to move out of the country, but you were going to make it as good a time as possible while he was there. And you do EVERYTHING together, and when the end finally comes you prepare to throw the biggest bash of all. But then he fucking SCREWS YOU. (Not that so many theories turned out wrong – that was always in the cards just from the nature of theorizing, part of the fun – but that there are NO FUCKING ANSWERS and everything is wrapped up by pure magic and nothing else, in a story that was so good about doing the exact opposite of that for its entire length.) He screws the SHIT out of you and all of your friends right before he leaves, vanishing with your money like a deflating Ponzi scheme, and has no intention to even write back to you about what he did (Epilogue) anytime soon. Is in no hurry to apologize, or even fucking justify himself. He just leaves behind a note saying “you figure it out”, and moves on to his next big thing (Hiveswap). And no matter how much you want to believe that he had the best intentions, no matter how much you believe he must have had a REASON, it’s impossible to believe with all your heart that that’s true. Not when he doesn’t even take the fucking time to say “I’m sorry”. (WHY did he have to say he’s not even in a hurry to do the epilogue? Why didn’t he even throw in an “I’m sorry, but” before he said it??!?) It’s impossible not to be angry. It’s impossible to try and forgive him on that unexplained, broken note. And it’s almost impossible to avoid the sense that all your good experiences with them in the past have been retroactively poisoned, the sense that you were utterly wrong about your friend having ever cared about you at all.

…It’s really hard. I don’t know how to stop being angry about this and still think about Homestuck, still help clean up the huge mess left behind by its wreckage. Every permanently-unanswered question that can’t possibly be addressed by the epilogue just… gets me so mad that I have to take my mind back off the comic. What do I do?

Any recommendations? I’m not giving up, I won’t let this ending do that to me. But I could definitely use some help. Any more advice on how to come to terms with this, how to be able to still stand Homestuck canon enough to finish analyzing it?

Remember the good times and cut Hussie a little slack. The good parts of Homestuck are still about as large as the entire Harry Potter series, and were written much faster during a time in which the author was being jerked around by a company that was committing massive embezzlement against him and starting his own video game development studio. Hussie must be so tired of this shit, I can’t begrudge him for giving up on the story. Look at Homestuck 2.0. An honest to God movie star begging fans to make content for their Youtube channel for them. Like, holy fuck, I feel so sad for these people. It’s not like he intentionally made a bad ending to spite his fans.

I think you may be overestimating just how much was missing from the ending too, so maybe making a list of unresolved plot threads and discussing them would help. To take the examples from your post, you seem to have forgotten that the Deringer was used to alchemize Caledfwlch, without which Dave wouldn’t have been able to overcome Caliborn’s immortality to destroy the final incarnation of Lord English’s soul. Playing the rain would have just repopulated the oceans of LoLaR for her Land’s quest, which the game never actually intended her to complete in the first place. LoLaR’s quest was just dumb cutsey kiddy stuff to spur Rose through her teenage rebellion phase, as Dave explained.

From the timing of the scenes, it looks like Aradia has already gotten out of dodge while the juju is still doing its work, meaning she’d be much farther away than the others, who are nowhere within sight during her scene. For comparison, Lord English can fly and he probably didn’t make it out alive. Point taken on Sollux though, since we don’t see him at all. He could have bailed even earlier than Aradia did and be completely safe, or he could have died during Collide, impossible to say.

There’s nothing special about getting to the Furthest Ring. Anyone can do it if they just fly past Derse’s orbit. It won’t help them get back to universe C. Although if the horrorterrors are feeling merciful, they might meet up with Aradia and join her on universe spanning adventures.

Hope that last ask (regarding your ==> post) was not too insulting… I did not intend to be so blunt, but ran out of character space. Anyway, what I meant about the Beta Kids possibly escaping was that the nature of the Ultimate/House/Homestuck Juju being used against Lord English has not completely been explained, and seeing as there is the possibility it spit the Beta Kids out so that Lord English could be sucked in (being composed of 4 people), IFeelThereIsAPotentialForJohnRetportingThemOut.

Consider things from the Beta kids’ perspective. A minute ago they were planning to kill Caliborn before he became Lord English. If they survived, they have no reason to not just teleport right back to LoCaM to pick up where they left off now that Caliborn has wasted his strongest weapon. (Unless John lost his retcon powers by going through the house again, in which case they’re just as doomed as Vriska.)

I hadn’t considered that the juju might suck in Lord English. Though if it did, it would have to spit him out again at some point before it went back in time to become part of Yaldabaoth’s treasure.

Homestuck has always been consistent with the length of its “next page” arrows. There is one line for each player. Four for the human universes (until they merge into a single session with eight) and 12 for the troll universe. But when we get to universe c, we go back to four for the last page. Why?

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Sure, I’ll take a look. Let’s see…

I think I like your Knight/Page theory best out of all I’ve heard for the pairing, though it fails to explain Horuss. We know he fulfilled his potential by becoming a fighter, yes, but also by becoming a mechanic, poet, etc.

While Give works for Maids, it cannot be Heir’s verb, as none of John’s many powers have involved giving wind. And to answer your question about Rogues giving, Roxy makes Rose in Game Over (and later Dirk’s sword) incorporeal by giving them some of her store of stolen Void.

Here’s my analysis of how Act 7 went wrong.

I don’t think Act 7 is a bad ending. I think it’s straight up not an ending and wasn’t originally intended as such. First of all, you have to understand how Hussie put Homestuck together.

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